Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
