I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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