"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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