'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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