yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize