yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
No subtext here. People are naked.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
