Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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