Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
