a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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