He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
