Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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