The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
