And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
