thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
