I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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