Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Someone signed my nipple.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
