She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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