I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
