i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize