i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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