he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Also, beer. Big fan.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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