they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
