i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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