But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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