I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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