Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize