I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
