I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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