is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize