Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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