Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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