I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
