we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
