i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I looked at my own cervix.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Farmville is her only friend.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
