We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
