How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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