if i can run in heels then i can drive
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
