That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
