i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
