I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize