Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
