They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
