My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
