i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
