yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
