David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Randomize
