hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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