I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
