He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
