There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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