It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
