i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
you never un-have a 4some
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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