my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
