To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
