Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
