I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
