I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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