we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
