ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
