Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
