Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
