god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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